BLOOD

This is not one breakfast...but two (I eat a lot for breakfast, but not that much). They were both DELICIOUS and they both contained one of my new favorite things; freshly squeezed orange juice ( it's so good ..and nutritious ..and perfect since we can never finish a carton of juice because we only drink juice during weekends, and then only one glass). In both cases the juice was made with BLOOD ORANGES ..or red oranges that they seem to be calling them these days. I don't get it, or I kind of get it; I guess store owners are afraid that people might be GROSSED out by the word BLOOD ..but I still don't agree ..because I think that the name Blood orange is way cooler, more exciting and even more descriptive than just red orange.. since the orange itself isn't really red when you see it in the store.. it's more the juice that is red.. which is kind of the blood of the orange.. so I really  think people should stick to the old name. 

Writing of blood and food made me think of this other thing. I consider myself fairly relaxed around the word blood ..also when it comes to cooking. Still my relaxedness was challenged some weeks ago when I went to SOLHEIM KJØTT, our local butcher, with Erlend. It was not exactly EARLY in the morning, but it was before lunch ..and I could still feel the taste of tooth paste in my mouth. I knew why we were there, but I was still kind of thrown when E placed his order ..out loud, to the man behind the counter: 

-Two liters of pigs blood (adding the question; It's fresh right? The butcher confirmed with a nod.)

-2 kilos of speck (which is fat)

-and five meters of intestines ('tarmer' for my norwegian readers)

Some of you might think, why would someone buy this? For me.. a long time fan of BUFFY the Vampire Slayer, the answer 'because your husband is a modern vampire' would seem fair. BUT, to more RUSTIC food lovers, older people ..and the butcher ..I think it was pretty clear; my husband was there to buy the ingredients for blood sausage..or as the french call it BOUDIN NOIR. Even though I like boudin noir (it was one of the specials at our favorite restaurant in BERLIN; CHEZ MAURICE) ..and I NEW that we were at the butchers to buy blood I was thrown when he said the ingredients out loud.. I think the fresh part... and the the word intestines just became a little too much. I can eat almost everything, but I have realized ..and come to terms with.. the fact that if I want to continue to enjoy certain kinds of foods... I can not be present ..or participate when those things are being made/ prepared. I can also not eat it when I am way too hungry and have low blood sugar ..but that story I will save for later.

OSLO

I'm now in BERGEN after a a wonderful week spent in my friend SILJE and her boyfriend ANDREAS' apartment in OSLO. They are the lucky owners of an apartment with balconies both to their back yard and to the street, so it's not hard to be happy when you stay there. They have also planted a lot of HERBS as well as TOMATOES and CHILLIES on their balconies ..AND the apartment is in a nice area so we have been very happy tenants. They also have a lot of plants, so they had asked me to water all their greens when they were gone ...but, because of a misunderstanding ANDREAS's mother also thought she was going to water the plants ...which led to this nice first encounter between me and SILJE's mother in law; It's around noon, I have a meeting down town with the COUPLE that is getting MARRIED ..to see the venue for the dinner/party ..before the actual wedding (the wedding that I was going to photograph). I am of course running late, and the weather is NICE and WARM so I have decided that I have to/ absolutely want to wear a SKIRT (kind of desperately, because I know that I am only days, weeks or shorts moths away from moving back to BERGEN ..where my legs hardly ever will have the PLEASURE of feeling the magical touch of the LATE SUMMER SUN) ...so .. during my rainy weeks at the cabin shaving my legs had not been first priority so I realized that I desperately need to do this before I leave the house.

So there I stand, in the bathroom, with the door open, only wearing my UNDERWEAR, with one foot in the sink covered with white foam .. when I hear somebody putting a KEY in the front door. I knew it was not E, because he was on the train to VÅLER, so I quickly reach for a towel and stand there looking at the door ...when a woman I have never seen before enter. I was kind of relieved when I saw it was a WOMAN..and not a man ..and asked; who are you? And well, she of course answers 'I'm Andreas' mother, I am here to water the plants'. I walk over to her and realize as I am about to introduce myself and SHAKE her HAND that my right hand is covered in SHAVING GEL due to what I was doing .. I also realize that the apartment is looking like a MESS.. with my photo equipment all over the kitchen table and clothes all over the FLOOR due to my 'I'm in a hurry, what to wear' frenzy about 10 minutes earlier. I explain why I am there ..and that I am been put in CHARGE of WATERING the plants ..while I feel kind of like this BUM who's trashing up her DEAR SON'S beautiful apartment, not capable of taking care of anything ..let alone their herb garden that is inspired by the herb garden she has at her house ( I learned from the brief encounter). PUH! That said, she seemed like a very nice lady, I'm more unsure about her impression of me, ..AND very glad this was not my first meeting with my own mother in law.

SUMMER NIGHT, BØNES STYLE

This weekend I experienced what I felt was the first SUMMER NIGHT since I arrived in BERGEN. I was wearing shoes with open toe AND an open jacket ...without getting COLD as I was walking home. Yes, it's all about ADAPTING ..or else you will get DEPRESSED. The whole evening was really nice, mixing things I used to do while living in BERGEN (it's been 7 years) with new things. As E and I was walking from the BUS STOP to my parents house, a stretch I've walked a THOUSAND times, I decided that I for once would try do a thing that I have wanted to do many times before, but never have done; try to CAPTURE some of that mixed feeling of walking these streets; filled with happiness and life from an evening filled with good FRIENDS, drinks and food .. at the same time as being surrounded by the quiet street of suburbia, so obviously stating that the evening is over, making me wish it never had to end (E on the other hand was at this point of the evening (as usual when I am all fired up) ready to crash into bed ..so we had to make a quick stop by the house to pick up some POTAPO CHIPS as BRIBE before he was ready to take some pictures). 

I have to say that it is in some ways strange suddenly spending all this time in Bergen, knowing that we will soon move back here. Right now I am truly in TRANSIT, living in the house where I grew up surrounded by so many memories  ...but this time being here with my husband, trying to plan a LIFE that I HOPE will have in it all that was GOOD the last time I lived here ..but at the same time be so different. It feels like some sort of time travel where I am living my life in one time... the present time, while by brain is running all these different narratives from past times parallel with that. What can I say, it's kind of confusing, but I am sure it will all fall into place ...when it does. 

GRÅPUS AND PINGLE

Up till a couple of months ago ERLEND'S parents had four CATS ..and not just four random cats, but a little CAT FAMILY ..consisting of a mom, a dad and two brothers. In the beginning when I met the cats I didn't know that they were a family, yet alone a quite modern/untraditional family ..both if you look at it from a human's and a cat's perspective. From this little cat family's story I learned that it is possible for the female cat to be pregnant with several different male cats SIMULTANEOUSLY. This was completely new to me ..and fascinated me a LOT. Actually, thinking about this now, this means that you in some ways can say that cats have a more democratic reproduction system, at least than humans (I don't know how it works with other animals), where the man kind of blocks the woman's uterus when he impregnates her. So, anyway, this is what happened to the mom of this little cat family. She was impregnated by two different male cats, actually two very different cats, if you look at at how her sons turned out.

The one son is TIMID and RED. He was very scared and insecure as a kitten, but grew up to be a very CURIOUS and social little cat. Him we call PINGLE (from the same norwegian word which means that you are sort of weak ...and in some contexts it can mean that you are easily scared). I call him just PING, because it works better with his personality today ..and it's fun to say when you say it like it's a sound. The other son also received a very descriptive name, it's GRÅPUS, which basically means 'gray kitty'. Gråpus was a very calm kitten but grew up to be quite shy, at least till he gets to know you. He has a lot of soft grayish fur ..and sometimes looks a little bit like an owl ..because of the long fur on his ears. Non of us have ever met Gråpus' BIOLOGICAL DAD, but Pingle's dad chose to stay with the family after the kittens were born ..something that is quite unusual in the CAT WORLD. It was very easy to see that he was Pingle's dad, they looked very much the same, except for the fact that the dad; also called PAPPAPUS, was almost twice as big as Pingle ..and had a much more calm and stoic presence. He always seemed to be unusually attached to his family ..he also snored  ..like so many other dads. The last family member, MAMMAPUS, is on the other hand very moody and bossy. Both her sons respect her very much/is afraid of her ..and between us humans, she is without a doubt everyone's LEAST FAVORITE. 

I sometimes think of them almost like a HUMAN FAMILY ..where the mother is kind of a BITCH who doesn't care that much about her family .. but at the same time met this super nice calm man whom wanted to be with her no matter what ...and be the father of not only his biological son ..but also the son of this other dude ...that she was having sex with ..at the same time as she was having sex with him. 

This winter Pappapus passed away, and with that something unexpected happened. We had always thought that he would be the family member that would have the most problems if one of the other members were to DISAPPEAR ...but the fact is that suddenly after he passed away Mammapus started to act really strange. She suddenly became almost aggressively COSY and NEEDY and wanted to be on someones lap all the time. Again my mind wandered and I thought of them as a human family again .. of the mother that seemed like she didn't care ..but maybe always did..or at least realized she did after she lost the one who had STOOD BY HER, against the odds all these years.

MY HOME MADE FLOWER CROWN

The other day I made my first ..real or fake.. FLOWER CROWN / FLOWER HEAD BAND. The first time I wore a real flower crown was at my BACHELORETTE party in Berlin. I loved it (check out pictures of it HERE) and immediately decided that the next summer I would wear real flower crowns all the time ...but then that just never happened. I have always loved flowers, as I KID I wanted to have my own flower shop and spend all day arranging flowers. As a TEENAGER I became very fond of artificial flowers too ..and used them to decorate my room. Also, as I have mentioned before, for a long time I had a dream to become a fashion designer .. and I still remember how much I loved THIS flower wedding dress by YSL ..worn by the amazingly beautiful LAETITIA CASTA. I think it's from 1999, maybe the year my passion for drawing dresses and decorating my room with fake flowers was at its height. 

Then the other day, I don't know what it was, maybe it had something to do with the fact that I have been spendng the last weeks in my CHILDHOOD BEDROOM at my parents house, maybe it had something to do with all the flower bands that are all over MEDIA these days .. but when I visited IKEA ..I finally did what I should have done a long time ago; I bought artificial flowers to make my own flower crown. They have so many different ones to choose from, almost like a little flower shop, so I just picked some of my favorites ..or first I wanted the PEONIES ..but I have such a tiny head and face that it would maybe not work .. so I picked some smaller ones that I liked. The next day I sat by the kitchen table, while the RAIN was pouring down outside, and made my flower crown. It was first when it was finished that I realized that my love for the YSL  flower wedding dress must had been there in the back of my mind all along, influencing how I made it.

THE WAY I SHOOT

About a week ago I got a QUESTION on my blog asking if I could tell a little bit more about how I work, and as usual when I start writing it gets LOOONG so here is a text that talks a little bit about how I shoot.

My passion for photography springs mainly from my LOVE for beautiful REAL LIFE situations ...and things ..and beautiful IMAGES. In my pictures I almost always work with natural or pre existing light. . To me it's the COLORS, the composition and the ATMOSPHERE in the picture that is the most important, not uncanny sharpness or technical aspects. That said; I still LOVE to have good PHOTO equipment. 

So here; a little bit about my CAMERA and which LENSES I like to use;

My FIRST camera was an analogue NIKON camera, and I have been a faithful NIKON person ever since. My current camera is a NIKON D700, which is a full frame (FX) camera (meaning that my camera has an image sensor that is the same size as a 35 mm (36×24 mm) film frame). With my first camera I got a ZOOM lens ..so I got used to the opportunities that comes with that kind of LENS. So I preferred to shoot with that for a long time ..and sometimes I still think it's the best. These days I almost only shoot with my 50 mm 1:1.1,8 lens .. partly because after I switched to an FX camera ..I have not been able to afford or managed to decide on a new zoom lens. ..but also because after I got my 50mm lens I have been kind of HOOKED ..like so many others. The magic of the FIXED focal length lens can for ME be summed up in two things; ONE; the QUALITY of the image; when your lens is made to be good at ONE thing…  it is possible to get much better OPTICS for an affordable prize ..than for instance if you buy a zoom lens ..that needs to be good at 'a lot of things'. I'm not only talking of the quality of the image when you look at it on your COMPUTER or if you have it PRINTED ..it is what you see when you look through your camera. And for me that is the most IMPORTANT; because for me photography is all about that moment when I LOOK into my camera ...and I see something that I think look so good that I just have to CAPTURE it. 

The other thing, that is great with my 50 mm lens ..and that is KEY to the way I shoot, is the possibility I have to shoot with a large APERTURE, or as you can also call it; a low aperture number, on my lens that is 1,8. Since I have a lot of followers that are not photography people.. which I like.. that maybe want to learn a little bit more about PHOTOGRAPHY I will explain it like this; the aperture number indicates the SIZE of the HOLE where the LIGHT is let into your CAMERA, the LOWER the number, the LARGER the hole. In many ways the lens is like your EYE; when it's light outside your pupils can get really small, while when it's dark; they get big. When its DARK the pupils dilate because they need to let in more light for you to be able to SEE .. a LENS works kind of in the same way...it just does not do this automatically... and it's not as GENIUS as the eye. As a photographer this constantly FRUSTRATES me. BUT I was talking about the possibilities you have with this lens, so yes; if you need more LIGHT to be abel to take your picture; a larger aperture is one of your options ..and since I shoot with natural and pre existing light this is often a big HELP to me. 

One of the consequences of the lens not being as genius as the EYE is that when you shoot with a really large aperture you loose FIELD of DEPTH. BUT with this ..as with almost everything ..a disadvantage can be turned into an ADVANTAGE. Loosing depth of field gives you the opportunity to BLUR out the background or the foreground of the picture, which means that when I use a large aperture I can: ONE; use it to bring out the object I want to FOCUS on, TWO; blur out the things I don't want to focus on ..and it gives me the opportunity to create beautiful painting like COLOR FIELDS ..which I love (before I started taking pictures I PAINTED ..abstract paintings ..and I still just love to make colors MEET and sometimes MELT together in my pictures, my love for colors is maybe the strongest of all when it comes to the different components in a picture.) I have to say that I also have a theory that an additional reason for why I like to shoot like this is my EYE SIGHT,  because I am nearsighted ...so through my eyes IMPERFECTION ..they work kind of like a large aperture lens… so when I shoot with a large aperture the pictures comes out looking a little bit more like the WORLD I actually SEE.

So now that we have covered that; we can talk a little bit more about how I SHOOT. 

I almost always shoot MANUALLY. I do this mainly because I like to control and vary the aperture from picture to picture ..but also because I often prefer the pictures to be darker than the automatic settings on my camera would like them to be. In some instances I prefer to shoot dark because I feel that it makes the colors more VIBRANT and strong  ..other times it's because I want to show a light situation as AUTHENTIC as possible ... A lot of people tend to shoot their pictures in a way that makes it look like they were shot in BRIGHT DAYLIGHT ..which most often is not the case. I feel that when you make a picture too bright you often loose the atmosphere ..and with that the soul of the picture. 

I also sometimes shoot with high ISO values, partly because of the same reasons I have mentioned before; to avoid using a FLASH. It's not that I hate pictures where a flash has been used, I sometimes work with it myself .and often like it in other people's pictures if it's used in a nice way, but ideally I try to avoid it for the reason I mentioned in the beginning; I prefer to shoot the situation like it appears in front of me. It's not because I'm a purist or against editing pictures; it's because the reason for me to take the picture in the first place is that I want to CAPTURE what I see in front of me. That said; I sometimes use a REFLECTOR, one of those big round once, to fill in some light ..if the contrast between LIGHT and DARK gets too big. These pictures HERE and HERE are good examples of use of reflector; the light came in from one side, a window, resulting in one side of the object I was photographing going completely black ..or the other one being overexposed,  BUT with a reflector the problem was solved. Every time I use my reflector I am AMAZED by how much light this piece of fabric is capable of reflecting! When it comes to high ISO values; I'm also not afraid of grains because enough of them can sometimes give a picture painting like, kind of soft, qualities, which is ..as I have also mentioned, a quality I like. 

At the end of this post; My FAVORITE shooting situations are semi staged/organized situations; meaning either a happening or an EVERYDAY situation where people do what they do and act like themselves, like for instance THIS TIME in BERLIN and THIS TIME in NEW YORK, but allow me to take pictures of them and sometimes follow slight INSTRUCTIONS like; 'can you do that again' or  'hold that pose' or 'look at me' or 'can we move that juice box in front of your child, it's ugly' or 'is it ok if I remove the television remote from your table' . OK , thinking about it ..my inputs are often related to moving stuff I think is ugly out of the image field.. I almost always try first to move myself, but sometimes that is just not enough:)

THE WALK

Some days ago Erlend and I went for a WALK, actually we went on TWO walks (7 hours of walking in total; many fresh air and exercise points to me). FIRST we repeated the walk we took on the day it started raining …and this time the weather was great so we managed to get all the way down to the OCEAN … and everything looked different and beautiful bathed in sunlight. THEN we went on a walk that is supposed to be the most beautiful walk on LIPARI.. and I think they might be right; it was AMAZING. This walks takes you all the way around one of the sides of the island so that you get a beautiful view to SALINA. The nature is breathtaking and the combination of warm SUN and WIND made the weather perfect for walking. I will say ..that for me..this walk would have been perfect ..had it not been for one last element; E had discovered that at the end of the walking route, we could follow a PATH that went up to a VILLAGE on top of the island called QUATTROPANI …where we could meet with a WINE PRODUCER that has nice wine. In THEORY …all of this is great…  ..BUT ..and there is a but …a big fat but … for ME ..and that is the ELEVATION of this path.

It turned out that the path to Quattropani went straight up what we in Norway would call a JUV… a very narrow STEEP valley that leads up to a even STEEPER mountain wall.  A while before I had noticed this PATH and I had made a JOKE to Erlend about this maybe being the path we were supposed to walk. ..well the joke was on ME. For those of you who didn't already now;  I HATE walking up steep hills. I LOVE walking …but NOT CLIMBING. I get very exhausted …and I just hate it. It is one of my least favorite things. For many Norwegians ..my husband included ..climbing up steep hills is something FUN… partly because he loves making it to the TOP .. so for him ..this last part of the trip made it  just perfect (FRODE; during this walk I was often thinking of you …and how it should have been you there instead of me). I often feel that Norwegians are OBSESSED with mouton tops (the fact that I am not …and also do not like skiing that much  ..are two of the main reasons  that makes me feel less Norwegian). Not liking skiing and mountain tops MIGHT also have something to do with the fact that this is the fourth EASTER in a row I'm spending ABROAD …because Easter is in many ways the most Norwegian HOLIDAY …because yes, it is all about the skiing and the mountain tops.. 

So; back to the WALK ..my personal HELL ..my husband's personal HEAVEN; so there I am on this steep narrow path,  E is almost running up the hill like a little mountain GOAT ..and I ..well I am falling further and further BEHIND ..I am getting more and more exhausted and out of breath …the sun is burning in the back of my head ( I am one of those people who get a very RED FACE when they get exhausted ..  and for some reason my body seems to want to bring all my extra body heat to the head ..and I therefore HATE having sun on my head when I am exhausted …because it just makes it even warmer) and my MOOD is getting worse and worse. Actually, before we started the climbing I warned E about how my mood most likely would drop ..like a lot.. as we continued CLIMBING …still I did not know how low my mood would actually get. 

As my mood got worse I started to notice that we were basically walking on a ROCK SLIDE ..of course ..this is only natural in a this kind of environment ..and the STONES might have been there for ages …but most likely not all of them …so because of my BAD mood I started worrying  about getting HIT by a giant rock ..or many small rocks .. dying here in this RAVINE. To look at the bright side; this fear was the main thing that motivated me to continue walking when I mainly wanted to just sit down on a giant rock ..in the shadow ..and cry like an OBNOXIOUS CHILD. After a while ..I have no idea how long ..it felt like forever …also since I had no idea how long it would take… we finally reach a level with less rocks and less elevation …and suddenly ..like it was all a BAD dream ..we were at the TOP; looking out on this amazing view ..again feeling the WIND in our hair. And right there, I realized that even though I had fled to an Italian island for Easter I had had an almost Norwegian Easter EXPERIENCE after all. 

I will post more pictures from the trip later! ..the nice part...because I only photograph things I like;)

ABSURD BEAUTIFUL CONTRASTS

After one night in NAPLES, we arrived yesterday evening at LIPARI, one of the seven AEOLIAN islands just north of SICILY. This ISLAND will be our home for the next 10 days. We were originally going to arrive here this morning, but because of some ferry cancellations we arrived late last night ..that after spending 6 hours on a TRAIN .. which included a half hour FERRY RIDE ..while on the train ..something I found new and fascinating (being from the western part of Norway I am quite used to taking ferries ..but have never driven on board a ferry before in a train; exotic) then taking a hydrofoil out to the island, a ride that because of bad weather felt more like a trip on a scary ROLLERCOASTER than anything else, outside the boat the dark sky was shifting between dark blackish blue and light pink due to lightning, inside the boat people were throwing up. I felt a little bit sick, but mostly a little bit scared of DYING, that also being the case when I am in a rollercoaster. The death anxiety let go as the nice and charming men working at the boat started joking and smiling around us, the calmer ocean as we came further out also helped. Right now I am sitting outside our hotel with my mac in my lap looking at PALMS and LEMONS, but until I have had the chance to take some pictures of this beautiful place I will leave you with this beautiful sunset moment from last weekend. The contrasts in my life are kind of absurd these days! 

ALL OVER THE PLACE

Sorry about not posting as regularly as usual lately ..but this month is kind of CRAZY. First it was organizing our move and saying goodbye to NEW YORK. That was a stressful, fun, sad and hectic EXPERIENCE. Then we arrived in VÅLER in NORWAY ..and stayed there two days (being jetlaged, mainly sleeping, eating Erlend's mom's food, watching old BECK episodes, petting the cats ...and repacking), then we flew to BERLIN ...that was part of our stay just as GREY in January as I remembered it  ..BUT we also met a lot of great FRIENDS, celebrated E's birthday, had delicious meals at CHEZ MAURICE ...and I even got the time for some work; shooting CRUBA by Mira Becker's AW 2013/2014 lookbook. It was the third time we did this together and it was really nice both seeing them and working with them again.

THEN we flew to BERGEN ...where I am now.. and in a couple of days we are off to TRONDHEIM for the weekend to see MY SISTER and FRODE, then it's OSLO for about a week ...and THEN ...it's SPAIN. Yes, so I am a little bit all over the place  ..literally. I know you might think that all of these events must be somehow PHOTOGENIC and postable, but the truth is that at this point everything is just going so FAST and I am seeing so many people I LOVE  ..that I have not seen in a long time ...so I am feeling that I am not capable of doing anything but being present in the moment. Because even though photographing is also a way for me to be very present, it also takes away my attention from other things ..and the truth is; I am not very good at doing many things at the same time. I am though a little bit better at INSTAGRAMING these days than BLOGGING, so for those of you who are on instagram; let's meet there:) ..and this picture was taken on KARL MARX ALLE the first year I lived in BERLIN.. going back brings back nice memories ..also of days less grey.

WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK AND 5TH AVENUE

Ever since I moved to NY I have wanted a portrait of me in the WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK ...because I think it's beautiful ..and because it is right by our house. ..AND ever since I came here I have wanted to buy a VINTAGE FUR. My last week in New York granted me both. When I first started the blog ...and many times later, I have debated  if I should do more outfits pictures. But I never managed to motivate myself to do it because I am only really interested in photographing an outfit if I can make a STORY out of the pictures, where the outfit and the surroundings somehow communicate with each other and tell a story ... ideally to look like STILLS from a FILM. And well, even though situations that are a little bit like that happen more often than I post pictures of outfits on my blog  ..its' kind of hard finding time to shoot these series when you are really doing something else. But yesterday we managed it, even though E got pretty restless in the end, getting worried we would not make it to our three star lunch reservation in Midtown (yes ...we are maxing it this last week). 

So yes, when I found this coat in a vintage store in our NEIGHBORHOOD I immediately thought it was GORGEOUS ..but it was not at all the kind of fur that I had in mind ...and was looking for ...but then I put it on ...and I felt that I was brought to a different time and a different place ..and I was MESMERIZED. In many ways I think of clothes much like COSTUMES, not costumes like in an OPERA or on HALLOWEEN, but more in the sense that costume designers in films think of costumes. I feel very strongly that certain clothes go with certain looks, situations, places, countries ..even weather (and I am referring to a more detailed way than just; wear a raincoat when it rains). This has also something to do with how I often think of life in general as a stage or a filmset. Ok, I will explain; I do not walk around thinking that I am in a film, but one of my favorite things ...that I appreciate so much when happens ... is when everything works together esthetically and thematically ...like the room, and the people and what the people are wearing ..and what they are doing ...or drinking ...or eating ...or reading for that matter; just like in some of my favorite films. Of course you have all already kind of seen how I have a tendency to photograph these kind of situations. Like I remember when I took THESE PICTURES I was for instance so happy with PERNILLE for wearing her HAT ...because I thought it worked perfectly with the setting. It's funny because not that long ago I were at some friends house and we were looking through a magazine called KINFOLK. I discovered the magazine while living in BERLIN and thought it was beauuuutiful; both the layout and the pictures ..but later I also found it a bit comical since they in this magazine really take aestheticising situations very far.  But yes, as we were discussing that magazine I realized that the kind of situation they photograph and show in this magazine is probably what you would get if 7 people like me planned and went on a photo/cabin trip together. So I guess that explains it..

LOOKING BACK AND FORWARD

Looking back at our last year I realized how much we have been TRAVELLING. Even though we LIVED in BERLIN before we came to NEW YORK, we were basically always on the MOVE. When we left Berlin I realized that I had never spent more than one and a half/two months there in a row. STILL it was hard leaving because we have a lot of great FRIENDS there, we had a great APARTMENT, and I had finally started to feel that Berlin was kind of my HOME…it takes longer when you're never really there. Even here in NEW YORK we have been traveling a lot. It was difficult deciding on how to prioritize our time here. On one hand we wanted to stay in NY as much as possible, but on the other hand this stay was such a great OPPORTUNITY to get to see other parts of the States. Looking back I think we managed to balance it well. I truly fee that I have now lived in NEW YORK CITY, but at the same time I have been blessed with so many AMAZING experiences travelling around the country.

Our stay here is now coming to an END ..and I am dreading it. In some ways I'm not, because I always knew that it was temporary ..and I have spent my stay here accordingly. Without having the ability to make money and knowing that our visas were only for half a year ..I knew it had to end. Still, I have come to LOVE this city and our FRIENDS here and it will be very sad to leave.

Of all the cities I have traveled to, NEW YORK is the one ..and only ..where I have felt TRULY comfortable and HAPPY, in the kind of 'I could really live here FOREVER' kind of way. The FIRST TIME I came here was in 2003 and I immediately liked the city, already then in this kind of 'this city is so amazing and exciting and different' but at the same time 'it is so easy to understand and I feel so at home here' (recognizing things and finding them APPROACHABLE is an important thing with me, since basically as a rule I always prefer things the second time I experience them to the first). I continued to really like the city as I visited it more, but it was first when I moved here that I came to LOVE it.

I love the people, the walking, the streets, the taxies, the restaurants, the talking to strangers, the weather, the openness, the stores, the light, the streets, the complexity, the tempo, the sports, the fashion, the flexibility, the architecture, the atmosphere ..this list could go on forever. But I guess to me the main testament to my feeling of loving this city is that I really LIKE MYSELF here. It might sound weird, but after traveling a lot and not really having a stable HOME, friends and a job, really a BASE, for a long time ..you realize to a higher degree how external things affect you and how they make you feel about yourself. And this CITY and it's PEOPLE makes me feel GOOD, seen and appreciated ..and it is truly, for me at least, a gift to experience that feeling.

Many of my Norwegian friends find the American FRIENDLINESS/OPENNESS weird and uncomfortable, but I LOVE IT. Americans also often talk LOUDER ..and MORE than Norwegians …and Germans for that matter …and I really appreciate that too. Just realized that a lot of you that follow this blog have never met me in person ..and therefor do not know that I TALK… A LOT ! Many people might think that people who like to talk always love to speak to really shy/ non-talkative people because then they can hear their own voices all the time, ..but in my case it's often the opposite. I enjoy talking to other talkative people …because then I don't feel like a VERBAL STEAMROLLER all the time. Mostly when I'm talking a lot it's just that I'm enjoying myself; the more comfortable I feel around people the more chatty I get. Still, in the same way that shy people can come home from a dinner party feeling bad about not saying 'enough' (by the way, I always come home thinking about such people as really COOL and POISED) I often go home feeling bad about talking all the time ...and saying kind of inappropriate things. This can be a problem since I am a very OPEN person and I feel that almost anything is ok to talk about ...and sometimes the more inappropriate things are the more interesting. I just find CONVERSATION very interesting.

So because of this I've always been told that, in some ways, I have a very un Norwegian nature. At the same time I come from a city in Norway; BERGEN, that has always been described as 'a little piece of Spain' in Norway…and we are known for speaking LOUDER than all other Norwegians… and talking about ourselves a lot… and we are also always right. Writing this reminds me of a great STORY my DAD used to tell me and my sister when we were kids. My dad is not from Bergen, so he told it to make fun of BERGEN  ...and probably a little bit to warn us about becoming cliche Bergen characters. The story takes place at a FISH MARKET. A man visiting the market suddenly hears a lot of NOISE from one of the FISH TANKS and goes over to check it out. Looking down into the tank he sees a lot of LOBSTERS ..going on about their life in a quiet and peaceful manner, but then in one of the corners he spots a tiny little SHRIMP banging his feats and arms (I don't really know if there is a difference between arms and legs on shrimp, anyway..) on his little chest like a GORILLA shouting -in my dialect of course- I AM A LOBSTER, I AM A LOBSTER ("Eg e en hommar, Eg e en hommar!")) I've always loved this story, partly because I always loved our dad's stories, but also because there's some truth to it. Even though I have never felt like this shrimp, I am kind of a typical 'Bergenser' in some ways. Still there is a gigantic cultural difference between the US and Norway, and that difference makes me feel in some ways more at home and comfortable here than I have ever felt anywhere before in my life.

People has often asked me since I came here WHAT I LIKE THE MOST about living in New York, I have often answered just being here; walking the streets, looking at people, experiencing the atmosphere of the city, but it's first know writing this text that I realize that a big part of why that is my favorite thing, has to do with the fact that that I am so comfortable in my own SKIN in this city. Even though a lot of things I find hard in my life; not having stability or routines, not enough work and not knowing what waits for me around the next corner, has not changed for the better since I came here, I have felt so much more comfortable and HAPPY here than I did in Berlin. Of course it's partly a language thing, I speak English fluently and I did not do that with German, still it's also just the city and it's people making me feel SAFE, but also challenged, CALM, and eager to do things, making me like who I am. After spending time here I see that there is truly a reason why so many people from different nations and cultures love to call this city their HOME.

But yes, so we are leaving, but its not only a bad thing ...because well ...since I am married to Erlend we have new ADVENTURES waiting for us in the new year too. First we were thinking about going straight to ARGENTINA from NY, but that turned out not to be possible because of E's work; he needs to stop by Norway regularly because of a current project he is working on. Then we were thinking about THAILAND ..but after  a lot of back and forth we decided to concentrate our travels on Europe. And even though the other alternatives might be WARMER, more EXOTIC and EXCITING I'm glad we made the choice we did. Traveling all the time is beautiful and amazing in many ways …but I also miss the familiar. Compared to Thailand traveling in Europe is closer to home, in both DISTANCE, LANGUAGE and CULTURE  ..and to be honest, I think I need that. Traveling to far away unfamiliar places can be magnificent, but when traveling becomes your every day life, at least for me, it feels good to keep it a little more close to home. That said; EUROPE can be pretty amazing and we are traveling to some really beautiful and interesting places; JEREZ and SEVILLA in Spain, NAPLES, LIPARI and SICILY in Italy ...and to BEAUNE in France.. But first we are going home to NORWAY and then to BERLIN to say hi to loved ones. That's the one BEAUTIFUL thing about having your FRIENDS in different cities and countries, when you leave some, it means that you get to see others you have missed.

And yes, I know the picture on top of the post  might look a little bit too serious and posy for the content of this post...but it was of me ...and New York ...and I kind of like the dramatic atmosphere;)

OH SA-ANDY BA-AYBY

At four a.m yesterday morning we woke up to a bedroom FLOODED IN LIGHT. After 105 hours without electricity, water, cellphone reception and internet connection the power was finally back on the LOWER WEST SIDE of MANHATTAN.

This last week has been a very mixed experience. Talking to people back in NORWAY already on SUNDAY I kind of realized that they were not getting the same info that we were, they were just too calm, and my dad said that THE STORM would probably be a disappointment, as in it being HYPED. He was not alone thinking that, not in Norway, and not here. My best friend said she would bet me 100 Norwegian kroner that it would shift course and not hit us. Well, they were both wrong. Only when the Norwegian online newspapers started posting about the storm late Sunday evening worried messages started to tick in. And by now, probably everyone knows that the storm we were talking about would be the REAL DEAL.

Still, looking back at the following MONDAY, walking the streets early on that day felt strangely familiar and safe. Growing up in BERGEN on the west coast of NORWAY, the pre-SANDY Monday weather with strong WINDS, RAIN and streets filled with LEAVES, felt like home. It reminded me of being a kid and walking SUNDAY WALKS with my sister and parents, maybe not any Sunday, but these autumn Sundays when the weather was really SHITTY, you could hear the RAIN DRUMMING on your roof and  the wind would make your windows BULGE. All I wanted on those Sundays was to stay inside, but my mother would keep saying; 'we have to go outside, fresh air is good for you, we can't mind the weather, there is NO BAD WEATHER, only BAD CLOTHES (growing up in BERGEN, this is the psychotic MANTRA we grow up with). So there we were on Monday, walking the streets of LOWER MANHATTAN, having 'Sunday walks childhood flashbacks'; closed stores, deserted streets and the feeling of rain and wind hitting your face. I have to say though, even though the wind was strong and the rain got more and more heavy, the TEMPERATURE was way more comfortable than it ever was on any of my families autumn Sunday walks. And with the storm bringing warm air from the tropics, the temperature would stay quite high through out the night.

After the walk we buckled up in our apartment, we had stacked up on classic CABIN STUFF; candy, chips, red wine, beer, ingredients to make pizza, different soups and pasta dishes, tons of water …and candles. At this point we were 4 people in the apartment, ERLEND and I, and INA and TORE, two friends of ours visiting from BERGEN, stranded because of the storm. We were all following the storm on TV, seeing footage of the water rising, the wind increasing, the facade of a CHELSEA building being ripped off leaving the house looking like a dollhouse, a crane collapsing in MIDTOWN. From our apartment located on lower Manhattan, but outside the evacuation zones, we could hear the wind increasing, but with our apartment facing a backyard and our balcony protecting the windows from wind it was pretty undramatic. It can also be mentioned that E had been wishing for a STORM, a BLIZZARD AND a BLACKOUT since we arrived (feel free to blame him those of you who want to, I kind of do), WEATHER MOVIES being his favorite kind of films, so he was actually quite positive and even a little bit EXCITED at this point .

Then the POWER disappeared. And all we could hear was the sound of the WIND and SIRENS .. then followed by some hectic minuets with the sound of running water as we filled our BATHTUB with water. And then quiet again. All of our more used to hurricane friends had prepared us; if power disappears; fill your tub with water, you might loose it soon after  …and so we did. A friend of ours living right across the street described how, through friends on TWITTER, he could follow how lower Manhattan area by area was going black; TRIBECA out, SOHO out, getting closer and closer to where he was living. At this point his about 30 stories high building was swaying from side to side, making the emergency water in his tub sway back and forth with it. 

The quiet and darkness that seemed kind of calming and romantic MONDAY NIGHT on early TUESDAY MORNING was replaced by the UNROMANTIC TRUTH of the storm's damages and the unromantic consequences of an apartment without water, electricity, internet and cellphone reception. Only getting info from the outside world through an ipod RADIO that would soon run out of battery, hearing about horrible damages made by the storm, eating FOOD that would soon go bad because of a fridge that was getting warmer and warmer, no possibility of taking a shower, flushing the toilet with water from the tub, leaving the apartment to find a completely DARK hallway leading to a completely DARK staircase that would lead us 13 floors down to a lower MANHATTAN left without electricity, no open stores or cafes, broken glass and trees in the streets, traffic lights not working, people emptying their cars and basements for water, people taking pictures of the damages while other took a walk or a jog on the closed FDR HIGHWAY. 

On our second day without power we walked up to the area above 26th street, on the west side that was where the line between light and darkness was drawn, or like the New Yorkers like to classify things; that was where our for the occasion named neighborhood SOPO; South of Power, ended. This area right north of SoPo had a weird feel the first days after the storm, a modern non primary needs, urban version of a refugees zone where people were camping out on cafe floors recharging their cellphones trying to get hold of friends and family/updating their facebook/twitter /instagram accounts, standing in line to get into cafes serving SOY CAPPUCCINOS or HAPPY HOUR OYSTERS. 

Throughout the storm and its aftermath it has been hard not to constantly see the situation from an AMERICAN BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE kind of perspective. Even though I think Iranian PressTV took it a little too far when they chose to illustrate the storm with a still shot from the movie THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, there is something about NEW YORK that makes it very easy to see references to films and TV, for me almost all the time, but especially during a situation like this, where most my REFERENCE POINTS lies within the world of cinema. When they closed all the bridges and tunnels leading into Manhattan leaving us kind of isolated I thought of the last BATMAN MOVIE and I AM LEGEND, when we walked into the dark sides of the town it also made me think of the underworld of GOTHAM CITY, but also an episode of GOSSIP GIRL where they experience a blackout (even though that episode plays out during the summer). I guess I don't even need to mention all kinds of Extreme Weather/Disaster movies that almost always include Manhattan being flooded. 

On WEDNESDAY, being sick and tired of walking up and down 13 floors, not having real food in the house, feeling kind of dirty myself and grossed out about the apartment, feeling like I never managed to wake up …and on top of that  being bummed out about  this years HALLOWEEN PARADE in the WEST VILLAGE being cancelled (the celebration of the american HOLIDAYS is one of the things I have been looking forward to the MOST about being here) I had my first kind of nice storm related moment …and once again walking the streets of lower MANHATTAN brought me back to CHILDHOOD MEMORIES and NORWAY.

So late WEDNESDAY evening we decided to go out for a walk to experience the COMPLETELY DARK CITY and to see if anyone had done anything in the streets to celebrate Halloween (back to films …I was also thinking that someone should totally make a horror movie for next year that evolves around a Halloween Blackout on Manhattan, because it would make a great backdrop for a killer horror movie, whether it's about ZOMBIES or a MASKED KILLER moving around in the dark streets sneaking up on people and killing them ...or both). So back to this year's Halloween, that turned out to be anything but scary and horrific. Walking outside there were hardly any people in the streets. Except from the big main streets where CARS were passing by, it was pitch black. Throughout our walk we saw a couple of BARS that were open, no music, no noise, only people getting together over some lit candles, drinking wine and talking. Seeing these places in contrast to the darkness and the deserted houses and streets was kind of MAGICAL. On this walk I also for the first, and hopefully last time, saw the STARS over Manhattan, CLEARLY. It was quiet, the air was crisp and cold, and the almost full moon was the only source of light. Long shadows, the outline of the buildings towards the moon lid sky. For a person slightly afraid of the DARK the walk felt as BEAUTIFUL, SAFE and UNSETTLING as a moonlit walk on a road leading to our CABIN in the MOUNTAINS of NORWAY. I told E as we were walking home, that this was my first nice and worth keeping storm related memory. Getting to experience the CITY like that was TRULY a BEAUTIFUL MOMENT. It kind of felt timeless, like I could walk there and experience the constant of the city, the streets and the buildings, and all its history.

Other nice memories followed; lying in the dark on my husband's arm listening to the RADIO; the songs (many of them being songs people had requested because a name in the song could easily be shifted with SANDY, like MANDY by BARRY MANILOW (the title of this post is by the way the phrase from a song that's been stuck on my brain since this whole thing started, hint; GREASE)), and also the sad but also hopeful stories of callers from all over the region, experiencing the hospitality of local restaurants that kept open with no power, talking to strangers about their experiences, founding new friendships trough meeting in our hospitable friend's apartment ...that had light. I think it is in my nature to look for the beauty in situations, most often visually, but also sometimes when it comes to the situation itself. You have probably all seen the pictures and heard the awful stories about lives lost, homes ruined, businesses destroyed. I could write about how crappy I've been feeling, how frustrated, bored, but it seems irrelevant compared to what others have been going through, BUT STILL THAT ASIDE it seems like I chose to do this text the way I choose my pictures, by picking out the things I want to remember from this experience, and not the the things I would always crop out.  

MY CRUBA SCARVES

For some time time now I have been wanting to write about the BIG AMAZING SCARVES that you might have noticed in a couple of my blogposts, like here, here ...and here. These scarves have become some of my most precious belongings, and my favorite thing to wear with almost everything. Not only are they of great quality; 100% amazingly soft italian cashmere, they are also really big, almost like a blanket (perfect for me since I'm almost always cold), they function from everything from a standard scarf to almost sculptural outfits AND they remind me of the one who designed them; my friend MIRA. For those of you who have an excellent memory; yes, she is the one that designed my wedding dress. Looking back at it, it is so fascinating to think about how life works sometimes. When I walked into her shop CRUBA by Mira Becker in MITTE in BERLIN about a year and a half ago, with my mom and my sister, I had no idea that she would not only make me my DREAM WEDDING DRESS, but also become my FRIEND and then later give me the opportunity to do my first real FASHION SHOOT (I realize now that I have never really posted pictures of the results of those shoots here on the blog so I will have to do that later).

Well, so back to the scarves. When I was packing for NEW YORK I had a big problem deciding on which scarf I should bring ..because I now have three of them ( a bright blue one, a brown/grey one  ..and one in a bright red/ pink/coral color) ...yes I got carried away... but I'm not really good at choosing, especially if I really like both ..or in this case all three. Often if I have to choose I just end up not going with neither because I hate choosing, BUT this time that was not an alternative ....so I remember packing and E asking me; 'which one of the CRUBA scarfs are you bringing?', and I just answered' ah I haven't really decided yet' ..even though all three of them were already in my bag and I knew I couldn't leave any of them. It was kind of the same as when I go to H&M and E asks me if I bought something and I go; 'I just bought one thing, it was on sale, it was this sweater that I really needed' ..when I really bought two things and the other one was def not on sale and sequin. I've actually talked to E about it and he does the same thing ...only with WINE.

So after arriving in NY I have not for a second regretted bringing all of them. It was so funny because when we arrived here E was saying; 'someone is definitively going to comment on your scarves'. And I said; 'like just on the street?' and he said; 'yeah, you know, we are not in BERLIN anymore, we're in the NY, here people talk to each other on the street.' And he was right.  The first time I wore my blue scarf since I came here, I was in WILLIAMSBURG walking down Bedford Ave, and this older lady (the Brooklyn version of the ADVANCED STYLE ladies) called out to me; 'I love your scarf! (short pause, I smile to her)'. She continues; 'I want it! Give it to me! ( I smile even more, but keep walking, you never know with these old ladies ..I didn't want to end up in a tug of war with her)'.  So now I don't only LOVE my scarves ...I  LOVE the AMERICAN RESPONSE to them too.

YESTERDAY'S APPETIZER, A WEIRD TASTY LITTLE SUCKER

Yesterday ERLEND made a surprise dinner for BRITNEY and me. He got all the food at the UNION SQUARE GREENMARKET ...and the meal was delicious, BUT I think the most SURPRISING part about the dinner was this little sucker; THE STEAMER CLAM. Originally E had been looking for RAZOR CLAMS, which are really good, but he didn't find any so he ended up with these on the recommendation of the seafood guy. He was also instructed on how to prepare them and eat them. You steam them in some white wine and shallots, then you rinse them and dip them in butter mixed with garlic, parsley and lemon...then you eat them. This of course sounds like the way you would eat a lot of different clams, but I'm telling you, there was definitively something about this experience that stood out, and not only metaphorically speaking..  Let me try to explain; so the SHELL looks like any other shell, and most of the MUSCLE looks like any other muscle BUT it has an extra part, as you can tell from the picture, that kind of STANDS OUT ...and looks like a LITTLE PENIS. And then, kind of to fulfill this kind of already looking like a tiny little penis, when you rinse it you have to take of this thin black skin that covers it .. and that process kind of feels like removing a condom  ...or pushing back foreskin. And it continues... So when this thin skin is off you take the muscle out of it's shell and dip it in the water that you steamed it in to rinse it off. At this point you are holding "the little penis", and you realize that the rest of the muscle that's hanging down from it, totally looks like balls. Haha. It was so funny. I just had to share it with you, it was such a fun food experience.. For those of you already a little skeptical about clams this probably didn't help ..but if you have the stomach for it..both the taste and the look of it; I highly recommend it.