Today I was sitting by my computer trying to figure out a new 'About Me'- text for the blog, to say a little bit more about it, and me, for new readers. Doing that made me think of the actual conversation that led to this blog. I started writing and the text became way too long and maybe too weird to function as a 'hello welcome to my blog', so I thought I would share it with you as a separate text instead. So here it is;
I remember sitting in MY BED not long before going to BERLIN, having a conversation with myself. I think BIG LIFE CHANGES sometimes call for these conversations, not the small ones you have with yourself all the time, at least I do, but a real SIT DOWN TALK with yourself. So there I was, in my bed, thinking about my future, thinking about what I wanted it to bring. A friend of mine had recently given me a book called 'THE SECRET', in short it's about letting the universe know what you want, and if you make your message strong enough, the universe will give it to you. My friend basically had given me the book because I had been going through a phase where I was afraid to be optimistic, because I had been, optimistic that is, and that in a big way, and then some shit that I didn't see coming hit me really hard. So yes, I was going through a phase where I was thinking that at least if you expect the worse and don't get too excited, at least you will not run into the wall full speed without ever seeing the wall coming. A very negative way at looking at the world, but it felt like self-preservation at the time.
BUT, so with this new change in my life, something good, I was thinking that it maybe was time to start wanting something again, wishing for something good. So there I was, in my bed asking myself what it was I really wanted. Because you know, I couldn't really tell the universe before I knew myself. After sitting there for a while the clearest thing that popped into my head was I WANT TO TAKE PICTURES. As simple as that. For the last two and a half years I had been working on my MASTER'S DEGREE in ART HISTORY ..and I had hardly taken pictures since I left photography school. (I am not good at focusing on many things at the same time, at least when it's something that I am passionate about). I should tell you that it has been a tendency in my life to SHIFT between writing and working with art ( my educational background is basically one and a half year at the university, two years in art school, two years at the university, one year at an art school and then yes, two and a half years in university again). …..So after this last period of time spent at the university 'I WANT TO TAKE PICTURES' wasn't really an out of character WISH, still it was a bit of bad timing, since I had just finished my education…. NOT as a photographer, but an art historian. Well…
So there I was, in my bed, I had figured out a pure wish for my future so I sent it out to the universe as strongly as I could. With this wish as my only future goal I went to BERLIN and did just that, started taking pictures. And this blog is where the majority of those pictures have been shown. After now almost three amazing years taking pictures I'm thinking that I maybe should have altered my wish slightly, maybe into; I WANT TO MAKE MONEY FROM TAKING PICTURES. But I guess thats just a minor detail, but one that I will have to start channeling more clearly to the universe from now on;)
All this talk of sending messages to the universe might sound really WEIRD to many people, but for me it it's mostly a matter of speech …or thought. What I took with me from the book 'the secret', was the faith in that you will not be able to reach you GOAL unless you clarify to yourself what it is …and for ME, sending my wish out to the universe makes it at least feel like I have told someone so it makes it more REAL, and I also feel that when you take a LEAP OF FAITH to do something you believe in, it's somewhat comforting to think that the universe is on your side, wanting to give you what you want for yourself. And as 'I believe in Santa' as it might sound, that faith is sometimes what I need to make wishes that seems hard to make, actually come true.